Heavy, but it’s not me. Amazingly enough.

My friend/neighbor is dealing with some Heavy Sh*t.

My life isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty damn awesome at the moment. Not to say that there isn’t heavy shit I’m dealing with* but (KNOCK ON EVERYTHING) nothing as far as my roof, transportation and ability to eat is being immediately threatened.**

I helped her write out some stuff that will hopefully lead to a wonderful solution to her Problem. Hopefully she’ll take me up on my offer for some bodywork. (Gonna cover that lady in stones*** and rub her head and feet.)

The whole time I was noticing how I felt…..the sympathy, concern, anger, frustration, fear…. all bursting against how f****** glad I am that I’m where I’m at.

I mean, this too shall pass.

And. I wanted to bring this up because I imagine that this is something we all deal with at some point–a friend, loved one, colleague, who’s just had the rug pulled out from under them and there’s little we can do.

I’m quite thankful I am not feeling guiltyYou know, white privilege…. How can I enjoy this tea, coffee, television show when there’s millions of people enslaved and the elephants are almost extinct and well, we dropped the ball on the Chinese river dolphin and you know, FUKUSHIMA.

At the moment, my philosophy is that I can do better things for people if I’m in a stable, ok place. And that means drinking tea and watching TV.

Guilt… I like the idea that there’s a seed of truth about my responsibility in the guilt, but that the rest of it doesn’t serve me and wastes energy. Shame is just pure toxicity, IMHO.

Anyways. HEAVY.

Did what I could in a safe manner for me. No one is served by me hurting myself; enmeshing with her emotionally, obsessing, worrying or any kind of over giving. I’m already kind of pushing my own boundaries with the bodywork offer….but I wouldn’t do this if she wasn’t a friend. If any of my friends (hey guys!) were in serious crisis and close to mental/emotional collapse, um, yes you can get on my table and I will do what I can, as safely as I can**** to help.

Funny thing is–even with my incredible bodywork, if people don’t ask me for it, they won’t take me up on an offer for it no matter their need.

People.

So. Going to discharge any clingy energy in a hot bath. While listening to course work. And burning sage.

Bless, bless, bless.

PS–photo credit thechive.com. Has nothing to do with this post other than the seasonal piece. Thought it was happy compared to subject matter…

—————

coughcough health insurance, medical/student loan debt, my health, The Overall State of the World, my cold, cold, bitchy heart.

These are, at the moment, not immediate crisis’ and I’m taking steps to deal with all of them. Tiny, quavering steps that slip on my tears and snot, but steps just the same.

**Been in places like that. TOTALLY SUCKS.

SO MUCH GRATITUDE FOR WHERE I AM. Warm, fed, wheels. PRAISE.

***My stones are so pretty! I have a 56 basalt set and about….8 sardonyx marble cold stones. Can’t wait to get more cold stones….white marble and jade. *drools*

****It’s a standard thing in the healing world that working on friends and family therapeutically isn’t the best idea. Because, I the therapist, don’t heal them. They or rather their bodies, heal. I, the therapist, provide a neutral space that allows their body to do it’s thing. When I the therapist am emotionally involved and attached to them getting better, neutral space is much much much harder to come by and if it’s too compromised, then I, the therapist, feel like sh*t afterwards. Usually I think it’s fine for the client/person on the table….touch is touch, even if it’s not in a flawless setting. BUT, potentially, it could be not fine for the person on the table….

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