…And then I thought “CRAP, is that bacon grease?!”

No, it was toothpaste, PRAISE BE.


I was undoing my epically* long braid after a long** day of cleaning, cleaning, more cleaning and then some yard work to sweeten the deal nicely*** when I encountered something opaque and sticky on the ends my hair. (Folks, if you step this way, you can pick your minds out of the gutter)


My next thought was BACON GREASE (because there has been bacon this weekend….that’s what weekends are for, really, all of the breakfast foods that are too time consuming to make on School Mornings.) which would have been a greasy mess to get out of my hair, and just, UG, and then I sniffed it and it was minty….

Have I told you about David’s new bathroom, er, fetish, of smearing every clear inch with toothpaste?

No? Well, let me tell you: EVERY. SINGLE. SOLITARY. INCH.

And he’s shorter than I am, which means the toothpaste smears are below my eye level. So I’ve spent the last week or so wandering around with various sized minty smears on my pants, because I usually spent a fair amount of time lounging in my bathroom.****

And you know, I’m not yet used to the (as of right now) inevitable presence of tooth paste globs. There I go, thinking that “Hey, I washed that rug two days ago and wiped that counter off this morning–of course I can step on/lean against this surface…”*****

Sigh. And it’s not like this stuff is cheap or anything. I’ve gone on measuring kicks with the milk, depending on the quality******–I think David needs some monitoring and instructions regarding what a “pea” sized toothpaste glob looks like, as well as some general aim and cleaning techniques….

At the point I just want to know how it happens. Is he finger painting? Enacting some massive battle between the tube of toothpaste and his tooth brush? I am baffled.


*To cut? To not to cut? To leave long and FIGURE OUT HOW TO STYLE/PRODUCT? Or to cut and enjoy the instant ease and bounce and knowledge that products will go much much further? I am paralyzed, and as such, have a braid that ends at my butt crack.

**So many mornings with alarms set around abouts 4am. Today’s, er, tomorrow’s, is set for 3:45 AM.

***Having a patio is a lot  like having a bathtub….must be clean to fully enjoy. Grateful I have both a patio and a bathtub.

****This might be the best part about regularly cleaning my bathroom. So cozy!

*****Crazy things happen when you “only” have one child…

******Think I will go back to raw, despite the expense. David’s had chapped skin this season, and his skin stuff shifted last time I switched over the the good, whole, raw milk.

4 thoughts on “…And then I thought “CRAP, is that bacon grease?!”

    • Hey! Lol, I love cleaning… Just have to give credit where it is not due–that’s not my photo! I found it on thechive.com.

      I realize it doesn’t totally work, but it’s soooo funny! And I have cleaned up similar messes–like the time my 2 yo emptied my fancy laundry deterg down the drain, or the time he ate potting soil, eug! xo

  1. I have long hair too and I’ve been thinking about getting it cut, but then when I leave it down when it’s cold out like now, it’s almost the same as wearing a sweater. So for now, it’ll stay long.

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