Ok. So. Daily blog, right? Skip two non holiday days? WTF.
Sorry? I want to apologize to any disappointed readers, however, I’m pretty sure that there aren’t any–readers for one and disappointed readers for another.
I mean, who needs this depressing sh*t anyways?
Or, in lieu of the depressing stuff, the bland, blah stuff?
What I want is for this to be a good place. I want this site to entertain and uplift….as it entertains and uplifts me.
I don’t want this to be a place where, cringe, ug, too many feelings—too much! Run away!–which is what I think it may have become.
I had lunch with my Austin bestie on Sunday and I asked her about this site and she actually flinched.
Between that and the dawning realization that, holy hell, I posted this to the FB’s right after a post all about how I hate Christmas….
Which was followed by a series of posts about how hard I find parenting to be.
But, I also feel…. afraid, blocked, stuck, unsure about posting about other areas of my life….. and then the next thing I know, nothing uplifting or entertaining has happened to me in a day, I don’t want to post about the stuff that actually did happen today, and Why The F*ck Am I Bothering?
And, it’s not like I’m not talking about the Hard Stuff. I journal daily and have other outlets. Fine. Group Therapy. There, I said it. GO AHEAD AND JUDGE.
It’s more about….how everything feels really hard right now and the fact that things have always felt this way and how terrified I am that a) I will always feel like a hot mess and b) that feeling/being the way I am means I am Not Ok in a bad, serious way.
So I have some plans and ideas about how to shift this space into a more welcoming, homey, serving (to you and me) place that is still real and authentic.
Also, I don’t know if using the pics I’ve downloaded from theChive is ok. Arg…