(I know I’m reusing a photo–not sure what my Official Blog Policy will be on that–but this pic is just very appropriate.)
Oh my god, I don’t know what to say.
I am projecting feelings of resentment from other areas of my life onto this blog… Yay fun. Not.
I can’t get too deep because my time limit tonight is however long it takes for the pasta to finish cooking–speaking of, I am going to set a timer.
I need this pasta and having it overcooked would just be THE WORST.*
I had a very insightful group therapy session**, and a beautiful, amazing, sweaty, hot, hard yoga practice afterwards and I may do Sadhana*** because… I need insight! Clarity! Super charged purpose and zeal! An aura filled with RADIANT LIGHT. Which is what 2.5 hours of prayer, yoga, and chanting usually**** does for me.
Specifically, I need to process and release some of this RAGE and sadness, and I would LOVE, hello you out there, LOVE some insight and clarity into some of these motherf*&%^$#F@ relationship questions/issues/habits/patterns.
What do I do? I don’t know…. And it’s hard and scary and I want to hide, and pretend that Person A, Person B, Person C and Person D plus my whole issue with relationships in general DON’T EXIST.
La, la, la, happy rainbows! Unicorns! Flowers!
*”You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth!” If you thought BRITTA! I love you, you are the BEST.
**A) I don’t think I’m allowed to talk about group in public… Dave would be all “Let’s talk about why you want to talk about group on your blog…” and B) It’s a very long story…. C) I may never tell it.
***I think Sadhana, if I’m even spelling it correctly, means “morning practice” in sanskrit. Who knows. I don’t. What it is is this badass Kundalini morning meditation that starts at 430 in the morning.
****Except when it doesn’t and I’m stuck mid process in dumping a bunch of emotional/mental/physical crap and then it SUCKS. However, I keep coming back to it because 80% of the time I leave feeling like I just sucked on Gabriel’s balls.^
^I keep having this feeling that I will regret this blog one day soon and it’s phrases like this that add to my fears….